I figured I have a little time for a midday post since El is down for her afternoon nap. Seriously, that kid is a napping rockstar. Anyway, the last twelve hours or so have been a reminder of just how dirty a job raising a kid can be. I remember thinking, for much of my life, that changing diapers was going to be the absolute worst thing I'd ever have to do. I thought it would be worse than working in a kitchen at fourteen, spraying out cans of sauerkraut with hot water which causes a nice, sauerkraut-infused steam to blast into your face. Turns out, it's not really that bad. I mean, it's still kind of gross when you get down to it, but I haven't minded one bit. Certainly not as much as I hated that sauerkraut sauna.
That leads us to last night. Obviously with Mom being home solo the last three months, my window for diaper changes has been very narrow. But now that I'm home with El all day, the number of diapers I change per diem has skyrocketed. So, too, has the potential for what I like to call changing pad mishaps. We're trying to transition El from her Fisher-Price Rock and Play sleeper (which, by the way, has been recalled) to her pack and play, which is set up in our bedroom. That first night, she transitioned very well, and only woke up once or twice. Last night was a bit tougher. Anyway, my exhausted wife tagged me in for a half-awake diaper change right around four or five in the morning (I'm not sure which). Things were going great. Just a little wetness, no big deal. Get the old diaper off, grab a new diaper, slide it under and. . .wait, why's my hand wet? Yep. . .El decided four in the morning was a good time to pee, but not until after her diaper had been removed. Ah well, still no big deal. I slid her over a little, got another new diaper on her and put her back down.
Apparently messing with me once today wasn't enough. Fast forward to around nine. Mom is already off to work, and El is just waking me up to face the day. No shock but she's wet again, so we get the old diaper off and start to get a new diaper on. Only before I can tuck it up and start strapping it on, El decided to change the game. She looks up at me, directly in the eyes, and lets one rip. Thankfully, only a tiny bit of poop came out and was all caught in the diaper. But that's not the best part. Then she laughed, as if to say, "That's right, clean my butt." I couldn't help it but to laugh to. So I wait a few minutes and make goofy faces just to make sure she's done with her business, and go about the process of cleaning her up. Old diaper off, start getting a new diaper on, and just when we get to the same exact moment in the process, the eye contact. I have this moment of realization, followed by disbelief, followed by terror. Sure enough, bam. And this time, there's a lot more. Miraculously it doesn't end up all over my shirt, or the dresser, or the floor. I had her diaper angled perfectly to catch it all. I realize how fortunate I was in that moment, and how poorly that could have gone (likely ending in a bath for her and a shower for me). And there's El, smiling and cooing through it all like she was intentionally reminding me who the boss is. Don't I know it.
SAHD Tip Five - Make sure you have a changing blanket/mat that has both a plastic backing and some ability to absorb liquid. That changing pad sheet may look cute, but when she pees on it and you have to immediately change the sheet, her outfit and your shirt (because you had to pick up a pee-soaked infant), it will seem a lot less cute.
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